I ended a relationship a few years ago and for some reason, I can’t stop thinking about her this week. Since I broke up this experience of missing her comes and goes in waves. Sometimes I’ll go months without thinking about her than other times, like now, it’s all that’s on my mind.
I wish I had a good reason for ending the relationship. We dated for about a year and I broke up!  It had become too toxic. Yeah, I loved her!  However, It felt like I have been ruining her & myself.
It was decided, I needed to move on in ways I could do without her in my life.
It was selfish and biased, but needless my thoughts, it had to be done!
I had so much to do.  I just wanted to be single and experience the world on my own. I thought this was too best for her. It seems stupid now to say that. We were both loyal, loving, devoted people in the relationship. She was my best friend and someone I could do anything with. So why did I let her go?

That question still haunts me to this day. But I did had to take the decision considering myself and her.

I’ve had relationships since the breakup. I’ve gone on dates with plenty of attractive, even more charming people. So why am I still thinking about her?

Do you ever wish you could back to your previous self? Sometimes I think about what it would be like if I could go back to the me who was there with her, knowing she’s crying Due to me, and say to myself

Sometimes I think about what it would be like if I could go back to the me who was there with her, knowing she’s crying Due to me, and say to myself don’t do it. Don’t make the biggest mistake of your life. Don’t walk out that door. You’re going to regret this for the rest of your life. There’s nothing else out there for you. Don’t you get it? She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you. 

But of course, I can’t.

We still texted once.

She never responded. I haven’t heard from her since.

Do you ever spend a lot of time thinking about someone then out of the blue they text you, send you a message on Facebook, or contact you in some way?

This seems to happen a lot with me and other people. I’ve been wondering all week if I’ll get a text from her but so far, nothing.

And I should just let it go, right? She’s gone. Moved on.

Some time later, I heard she was dating someone new. I can’t blame the guy for taking the opportunity. I guess I was surprised she got someone that fast. But she’s an incredible person so honestly, why should I have been so surprised?

Sometimes I think when we’re in stable relationships we too often take them for granted. We get bored of the routine, of the winter mornings that all look the same, of the same conversations that have been had over a thousand times. It all starts to become a little dull. It’s up to us to re-ignite that passion, spark that excitement again, to fall in love with the person once more.

But I chose not to.

I needed an escape from my life. It just seemed like the perfect breaking point to start new. But instead of me finding some great life I’m sitting here writing about an ex of four years ago. Sometimes I wonder why I even date. Facebook should just have a relationship status that says “Ruined.” 😛

I’m joking. Kind of. 😉 But hey that could have been done, isn’t it!

My life did move on. I got a sweet job, my living situations improved, I don’t have many friends now, but those who remained are genuine, but it’s like, what’s the point of all of this? I don’t have love. I don’t have my best friend.

So what do I do now?

Well, I did use to think that way!
Gladly, my life is full of troubles due to finances and a lot of stuff. Wondering why am I happy regarding it? It keeps me busy, and due to these, I have explored a wonderful career that I wish to pursue. I am working and studying hard to make myself worth for people for whom I care about.

I appreciate that she was there for me once, and she cared for me when we were together.

I’ve come far now and am satisfied with how I have become.

Thanks to that wonderful person. Hope you have a great life ahead. ^ ^

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